Absilog

So I was on YM with Darn and we were talking about my expenses, asking what how much I usually spend for food, transpo, bills, etc, how much is my income, and my savings. Akala ko interview lang.

Then we met for lunch. Viola! A print out of my expenses. So monthly I’m -4700. No wonder I can’t pay my credit card bills. Lol. So over lunch we talked about how I’ll be able to pay for everything and still have enough. I lol and *sniff* at the same time since I have no idea If I can go with minimum expenses, no gimiks, no trips in two months (sana one month lang). I gave him my credit card again (for the third time) so that I won’t be able to use it.

Oh he also gave me gas receipts.

Wish me luck.

Wala akong masabihan sa friends ko dito. Pero malamang pwede nilang mabasa to (well isa sa kanila). I tried not thinking about it, pero wala eh, ang babaw ko nga para hindi ma let go eh. Disclaimer lang, I’m happy pasok silang lahat sa semis. They deserve it naman.

Pero malungkot ako. Malungkot ako kasi di kami pumasok. Malungkot ako kasi magagaling naman team mates ko tapos di man lang nila naranasan ang semis. Ang taas ng expectations ng mga tao sa team namin, meaning kaya namin talaga. I just couldn’t pinpoint where did we go wrong? May idea ako, pero ang sakit aminin.

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20 minutes before lunch ends

I still wonder why people my age (mid to late twenties) are still in love with the thought of love. Like having someone to make “lambing” with is all that matters, or someone taking care of you, or someone enduring all your tantrums. I mean, yes, I miss having someone special. But getting attached immediately to a guy that I’ve just met and plan my future with him, I think, is BS. Kudos to those who found real love, but for those who are in it just because, good luck. You’re just digging a deeper hole.

Love isn’t all romance and all giddy and stuff. I don’t even believe in unconditional love. I think love is overrated. Love isn’t enough to stay in a relationship people! People change, and so do you. Don’t expect people to change *with* you or *for* you.

But love is LOVE. It comes unexpectedly. It comes with cons, but it has pros too.

Yes, I’m preparing myself. I promised myself I’d fall in love this year (which I think really shouldn’t be expected). I’m preparing for all the heartaches and headaches of having a new love in my life, also sharing my life with somebody else.

Thus, I must learn to take care of myself first (done!) and love myself more. I’m still in the process of learning to love myself (because seriously, there are a lot of reasons not to love me). I don’t want someone who completes me, I want someone who compliments me. I want to be with a person because of LOVE not because of NEED.

Wala pa akong new year post! So eto na. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Makikigaya lang ren kay Neil (na sabi ako ang best new person na na meet niya this year).

Deyey

Not leading that team to its full potential

Getting used to being single

Poker 26.

Kaladkarin friend na ako ang inaalagaan )

Same same Wala pa ren. *lol*

My mom and grampa

Having the best brothers in the whole world

October Birthday month.

Deyey

Pati si Yanyan kasi asa New Zealand an siya and di na kami ganun ka close

) Tawa na lang ako.

Being able to help other people. Di na joke

What are your wishes for the new year?
The it would be a hell lot better than 2009

So a highschool friend asked me a while ago “Ano? Girl ka na ba?” She also told me that her mom was asking if her if I was a “girl” already. Sa facebook daw ang girly ng pictures ko pero bakit daw naka “ganung porma” daw ako when she saw me (shirt, jeans and flip-flops).

Posted the incident sa facebook and another HS friend replied that she actually got scared before because she thought I was hitting on her.

Back in HS ren a guy asked me if he could court a friend because he thought I was courting her or was it she was my ex.

O COME ON MAMON! Lolable and insane.

This calls for a blog entry doesn’t it? Next time na lang. I have to gather my thoughts.

Asa USTe ako last saturday. Well sa harap ng UST. Dumaan na ren ako kela Uncle Pipoy (isang carinderia along Moret), sayang lang wala siya dun pati si Auntie Pipay (a nickname we gave his wife). Kilala kasi yung block namin dun pati kinakausap namin si Auntie Pipay pag may problema sa love life (wow ang high school ng dating no?). Dati kilala ren kami sa Lopez. Paano ba naman? pag break, ang rami namin kung kumain, sakop namin 2nd floor ng Mike’s BRB at Almers pag break.

I spent the best days of my life sa campus. Sabi nila HS ang best part ng teenager, pero for me college pa ren. Naaalala ako ang catwalk, hardrock, payong (yung sa loob ng main building), tulian, field, lovers lane, colayco, etc. Hello? Sa sobrang bait kong anak nung HS, college ako una natutong gumala. SM Manila lang, masaya na ko. *lol*

Naaalala ko pa nag cu-cut ako ng math with my closest guy friends para lang mag internet sa lib. Haha! Tapos lahat sila bumagsak ako lang pumasa. Tigas kasi ng mga ulo eh.

The best part about being there last Friday was seeing the Christmas lights. Sana lang dinala ko camera ko. Malapit na ang Paskuhan. Last na punta ko dun 4th year college pa ko.

I know a lot of people look down on Thomasians, pero ako I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Di ko kasi makikilala ang mga taong naging mahalaga sa buhay ko.

Kulang pa to sa memories. I must write a longer post next time.

Medyo ok naman ang buhay. Walang nangyayari na masasabi kong blog material, kung meron man, by the time na may panahon na akong mag blog, meh moment na siya.

Yung Coron, Singapore, Baler, Potipot, etc. Buwan na ang nakalipas, di pa ren napapadpad dito.

Buhay ko ngayon? Walang thrill, pero much better than what I had back then. May thrill nga, puro “what-the-hell-was-I-thinking” moments naman. Pero nakakamiss ren yun eh. Yung di mo na kelangan gumawa ng sariling fun.

Gusto ko revamp blog ko. Burahin posts ko from 2003. Pero sayang eh. Kadiri man basahin yung mga yun, alam kong nag enjoy ako nung mga panahon na yun. Something I truly miss right now.

Walang sense no? Parang kung ano lang pumasok sa utak ko, type ko na agad.

Pasensya na. I shall be back.

mama: that is what i see in everythin you express… laging may fuck you kung hindi naman kailangan
mama: say fuck you when you really mean it
mama: and if you can really fuck them
mama: if you cannot fuck up their life… zip it

Yeah, also mukha raw akong low-life, uneducated, toughie.

Pero pwede raw SHIT so I guess ok na ren.

Totoo naman. Dahil hanggang ngayon, wala pa ren tumatapat sa kasiyahan ng nakaraan. Tanging nakaraan lang ang nagpapangiti sa akin. Tanging nakaraan lang ren ang nagpapatunay na hindi ako manhid, nasaasktan ren. Pero siguro nga dahil sa kakakapit ko sa nakaraan, di ko na naisip na baka bukas may higit sa nakaraan na dumating sa buhay ko. Kelangan ko na ata tanggapin na ang nakaran ay nakaraan dahil may dahilan. Parang pag tapon lang ito ng daan-daang sulat, songhits at magazine na inipon ko nung bata ako. Sana nga ganun nga lang yun.

So in a few days, I’ll be turning 26. I’ll be celebrating it early by spending my first weekend out of the country. I know it’s kinda off after everything that’s been happening to our country. But it’s my first trip abroad. It took my friends 4 years to finally persuade me to go get a passport and travel abroad.

Anyway, the 25th was quite a joyride with a few bumps here and there, but pretty much it was ok.

So yeah, for my yearly wishlist.

• Please volunteer to help our brothers and sisters affected by Ondoy and Pepeng
• If you have no time to volunteer please ask a friend
• Donate usable clothes that doesn’t fit you or you don’t use anymore
• Random acts of kindness
• Pay it forward (good things lang ha, wag bad vibes)
• Register and Vote (added on 10/21/09)

I can’t deny that I still would love to receive other stuff, but those listed above are enough for me. But if you insist,

• Nikon IR Camera Remote (Yung tulad nung kay hanibeb Eric)
• Headphones
• Laptop Table
• Rubber Ducky (Not the laptop bag. The big one. My red one is already err.. not resistant to water)
• Good Omen by Neil Gaiman
• Tripod
• White Fluffy Clouds by Brandon Boyd
• Laing and Adobo

And since libre naman mangarap:

• iPhone 3GS
• Round trip plane tickets to Palawan, Bora, Davao
• New lens for my Nick (My Nikon D40)
• P&S Camera
• Chow chow or a pug I’ll name him Elmer… Elmer Pug. Lol.
• Spa Package

For my heart:

• Somebody to take care of me. It gets tiring taking care of yourself, and of other people
• Dream date
• Not so dream date with dream guy
• A sincere kiss that would make my knees weak

Syet, late twenties na ko.