Absilog

Wala pa akong new year post! So eto na. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Makikigaya lang ren kay Neil (na sabi ako ang best new person na na meet niya this year).

Deyey

Not leading that team to its full potential

Getting used to being single

Poker 26.

Kaladkarin friend na ako ang inaalagaan )

Same same Wala pa ren. *lol*

My mom and grampa

Having the best brothers in the whole world

October Birthday month.

Deyey

Pati si Yanyan kasi asa New Zealand an siya and di na kami ganun ka close

) Tawa na lang ako.

Being able to help other people. Di na joke

What are your wishes for the new year?
The it would be a hell lot better than 2009

So a highschool friend asked me a while ago “Ano? Girl ka na ba?” She also told me that her mom was asking if her if I was a “girl” already. Sa facebook daw ang girly ng pictures ko pero bakit daw naka “ganung porma” daw ako when she saw me (shirt, jeans and flip-flops).

Posted the incident sa facebook and another HS friend replied that she actually got scared before because she thought I was hitting on her.

Back in HS ren a guy asked me if he could court a friend because he thought I was courting her or was it she was my ex.

O COME ON MAMON! Lolable and insane.

This calls for a blog entry doesn’t it? Next time na lang. I have to gather my thoughts.

Asa USTe ako last saturday. Well sa harap ng UST. Dumaan na ren ako kela Uncle Pipoy (isang carinderia along Moret), sayang lang wala siya dun pati si Auntie Pipay (a nickname we gave his wife). Kilala kasi yung block namin dun pati kinakausap namin si Auntie Pipay pag may problema sa love life (wow ang high school ng dating no?). Dati kilala ren kami sa Lopez. Paano ba naman? pag break, ang rami namin kung kumain, sakop namin 2nd floor ng Mike’s BRB at Almers pag break.

I spent the best days of my life sa campus. Sabi nila HS ang best part ng teenager, pero for me college pa ren. Naaalala ako ang catwalk, hardrock, payong (yung sa loob ng main building), tulian, field, lovers lane, colayco, etc. Hello? Sa sobrang bait kong anak nung HS, college ako una natutong gumala. SM Manila lang, masaya na ko. *lol*

Naaalala ko pa nag cu-cut ako ng math with my closest guy friends para lang mag internet sa lib. Haha! Tapos lahat sila bumagsak ako lang pumasa. Tigas kasi ng mga ulo eh.

The best part about being there last Friday was seeing the Christmas lights. Sana lang dinala ko camera ko. Malapit na ang Paskuhan. Last na punta ko dun 4th year college pa ko.

I know a lot of people look down on Thomasians, pero ako I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Di ko kasi makikilala ang mga taong naging mahalaga sa buhay ko.

Kulang pa to sa memories. I must write a longer post next time.

Medyo ok naman ang buhay. Walang nangyayari na masasabi kong blog material, kung meron man, by the time na may panahon na akong mag blog, meh moment na siya.

Yung Coron, Singapore, Baler, Potipot, etc. Buwan na ang nakalipas, di pa ren napapadpad dito.

Buhay ko ngayon? Walang thrill, pero much better than what I had back then. May thrill nga, puro “what-the-hell-was-I-thinking” moments naman. Pero nakakamiss ren yun eh. Yung di mo na kelangan gumawa ng sariling fun.

Gusto ko revamp blog ko. Burahin posts ko from 2003. Pero sayang eh. Kadiri man basahin yung mga yun, alam kong nag enjoy ako nung mga panahon na yun. Something I truly miss right now.

Walang sense no? Parang kung ano lang pumasok sa utak ko, type ko na agad.

Pasensya na. I shall be back.

mama: that is what i see in everythin you express… laging may fuck you kung hindi naman kailangan
mama: say fuck you when you really mean it
mama: and if you can really fuck them
mama: if you cannot fuck up their life… zip it

Yeah, also mukha raw akong low-life, uneducated, toughie.

Pero pwede raw SHIT so I guess ok na ren.

Totoo naman. Dahil hanggang ngayon, wala pa ren tumatapat sa kasiyahan ng nakaraan. Tanging nakaraan lang ang nagpapangiti sa akin. Tanging nakaraan lang ren ang nagpapatunay na hindi ako manhid, nasaasktan ren. Pero siguro nga dahil sa kakakapit ko sa nakaraan, di ko na naisip na baka bukas may higit sa nakaraan na dumating sa buhay ko. Kelangan ko na ata tanggapin na ang nakaran ay nakaraan dahil may dahilan. Parang pag tapon lang ito ng daan-daang sulat, songhits at magazine na inipon ko nung bata ako. Sana nga ganun nga lang yun.

So in a few days, I’ll be turning 26. I’ll be celebrating it early by spending my first weekend out of the country. I know it’s kinda off after everything that’s been happening to our country. But it’s my first trip abroad. It took my friends 4 years to finally persuade me to go get a passport and travel abroad.

Anyway, the 25th was quite a joyride with a few bumps here and there, but pretty much it was ok.

So yeah, for my yearly wishlist.

• Please volunteer to help our brothers and sisters affected by Ondoy and Pepeng
• If you have no time to volunteer please ask a friend
• Donate usable clothes that doesn’t fit you or you don’t use anymore
• Random acts of kindness
• Pay it forward (good things lang ha, wag bad vibes)
• Register and Vote (added on 10/21/09)

I can’t deny that I still would love to receive other stuff, but those listed above are enough for me. But if you insist,

• Nikon IR Camera Remote (Yung tulad nung kay hanibeb Eric)
• Headphones
• Laptop Table
• Rubber Ducky (Not the laptop bag. The big one. My red one is already err.. not resistant to water)
• Good Omen by Neil Gaiman
• Tripod
• White Fluffy Clouds by Brandon Boyd
• Laing and Adobo

And since libre naman mangarap:

• iPhone 3GS
• Round trip plane tickets to Palawan, Bora, Davao
• New lens for my Nick (My Nikon D40)
• P&S Camera
• Chow chow or a pug I’ll name him Elmer… Elmer Pug. Lol.
• Spa Package

For my heart:

• Somebody to take care of me. It gets tiring taking care of yourself, and of other people
• Dream date
• Not so dream date with dream guy
• A sincere kiss that would make my knees weak

Syet, late twenties na ko.

Isa sa mga pinaka ayoko ay mga taong sinungaling.

Oo, nagsisinungaling ren ako. May mga bagay kasi na kelangan mo lang itago. Pero madalas, di ko na lang sinasabi yung mga “details”, pero yung idea oo. Minsan kasi enough na yun. Dahil ren I’m a bad liar. Sobrang bad kaya ayoko na ren magbarbero.

Bakit kelangan baguhin ang kuwento? Tatanungin mo ng diretso, iba isasagot. Pwede naman sabihin na “Di pa ako ready i-share”. Di ka nagtatanong, pero magkukuwento. Kala ko dahil tunay akong kaibigan, pero parang dahil naging defensive lang. Nakaka frustrate lang. You may call it denial or self preservation, pero being on the other side, it’s not nice.

Yung iba sa inyo, paulit ulit na akong ginagago,, kala mo nagtanda na. Yung iba naman di mo akalahin na kayang magtago sayo, lalo na na alam niyo naman lahat ng kalokohan ko. Yung iba, minsan nga lang mang barbero, pero nadamay lang dahil sunod sunod ang nahuhuli ko.

Wag niyo ako daanin sa bola. Dahil ayoko isipin na lahat ng magandang sinasabi tungkol sa akin ay puro kabolahan lang.

Nagmukha akong tanga. Pinagmumukha niyo akong tanga.

Pero tandaan niyo, pag na validate ko or inamin niyo ren, hindi na ako ang mukhang tanga nun.

Kilala niyo na kung sino kayo. Alam niyo ren na tanggap ko naman kayo kahit na nasesermonan ko kayo. Pero sana next time wag na kayo mag barbero ng kuwento. Lalo na kung di niyo ren naman kaya panindigan o dahil madali lang para sa akin i-validate.

O sige, pwede naman magsinungaling. Wag lang sobra. Please lang.

Love ko pa ren kayo though. Sabi nga ng kuya ko, you love people with their worst.

Kelangan ko lang mag rant.

as we talked about our ex-lovers, frustrations, plans, and joked about you breaking my heart and how I cheated on you before. I told you stories about the kind of guys I encountered and you told me things about your past office crushes. It was the first time I met your parents. We found our way to the nearest McDo drive-thru and watched DVDs. We tried to stay awake till 6AM but found ourselves sleeping half way through “Yes Man”. The familiarity of you being beside me was enough to make me feel comfortable. Five years has passed and still, I find comfort sleeping beside you and talk to you about everything.

I think the best part about this is that there are no expectations between us.

You may not have been the best boyfriend, but you’re the best ex-boyfriend I ever had.

+++

Spent Sunday evening at JC’s place. I needed to get away from QC and Pasig. Go somewhere unfamiliar, therefore, Alabang. I should have been there anyway (frisbee thingy). I told him inane stories and ranted about random nothings. He listened, or at least he pretended to listen. We laughed while watching local TV shows and Efren Reyes busting his groove on national TV (Congratulations to Reyes and Bustamante BTW). Acted like kids, which was most of the time. We talked about the fun times we had or made fun of the things that we fought about.

As much as I would like to go into details of the things we talked about, I don’t have the time. We chatted for hours and covered years of random topics so that’s a lot.

I guess I like hanging out with him because he makes me realize that I could still be my old self or maybe it’s because he notice things that did or did not change. Ranting on how much I miss my old self, this was the break I needed.

So ayun, nagkataon lang na ex ko siya. Hehe.

Nakilala ko si JP bilang taglish sa blog-city. Tawa ako ng tawa tuwing binabasa ko ang blog niya. Di nagtagal, kami ay naguusap na ren thru YM. Ang kakulitan pa namin nun ay si Steph at Hunnah na mga bloggers ren. Di pa uso ang magkapera sa blog nun. Mga tungkol sa buhay buhay lang ang mababasa mo. Pagkadaan ng ilang buwan, nagkitakita na ren kami sa wakas at dun na-buo ang magandang samahan namin. Team Agnes, si JP ang nagbansag nun habang naka-tambay kami sa starbucks (wala pa kaming pera nun dahil mga hamak na estudyante lang kami).

Masayang kasama si JP, super laugh trip talaga. Tipong sumasakit na tiyan namin sa kakatawa. Ayos kasi humirit eh. Walang sablay. Magaling bumangka. Ma-boka, pero nakakatawa. Never sumablay si JP patawanin ako. Kung sumablay man, di ko maalala.

Naaalala ko pa dati, nag tetelebabad kami tapos tinuturuan niya lang ako mag-gitara. Or tumutugtog sya. Talentado kasi yang kaibigan ko na yan. Minsan ka 3-way pa namin si Steph. May time pa na nanunuod ako mag-isa ng VCD nga “The Eye”, tapos tinawagan ko pa siya kasi natatakot ako. Ang loko, pinagtawanan lang ako. May time rin na nag celebrate ng birthday ang blockmate ko malapit sa village nila, tapos pinuntahan pa niya ako. Wala kaming ginawa kundi tumawa (besides catching up syempre). First iMax experience ko, libre niya. Pina-try niya ren sa ken ang masarap na masarap na sisig sa fairview. Tawagan namin sa isa’t isa ay “Panggap”, dahil mapagpanggap siya. Best actor yan eh. Iba ang confidence level. Hehe. Isa siya sa mga kilala kong maloko, pero pag nag-seryoso, seryoso talaga.

Kagabi, habang asa Manila ako, tumawag si Steph. Umiiyak. Kinabahan na ako. Patay na raw si JP. Ayoko pa maniwala nung una. Likas na mapagbiro si JP so ang iniisip ko na lang ay nagbibiro lang siya. Pero wala naman sa ugali niya ang mag biro tungkol sa ganung bagay. Ang ganda/lungkot ng setting, nakadungaw ako sa Manila Bay, umiiyak. Di ko pa matanggap na totoong pumanaw na ang aking kaibigan. Isang kaibigan na walang dinulot kundi saya at comfort sa akin. Dumiretso ako ng funeraria galing Manila. Doon, mineet ko si Jonar (choirmate ni JP na naging kaibigan ko na ren) at Steph. Pinigil kong umiyak. Ayoko umiyak sa harapan ni JP, lalo na kung dahil ito sa lungkot. Sabi nga ni Steph “Bakit naman ganun? Ngayon na nga lang natin nakilala fiance ni JP, sa ganito pa”. Parang kelan lang magkausap kami. Kausap ko pa siya tungkol sa gulong pinasok ko noon. Sinasabi niya ren sa akin ang mga plano niya sa buhay. Bibbo kid talaga. Masayahin at laging nakangiti, isang dahilan kung bakit di pa nag sink-in ang katotohanan. Pero alam niyo, naisip ko na lang ren na sa sandaling pamamalagi niya sa mundong ito, marami siyang napasaya, napatawa at natulungan kumpara sa mga matagal ng nabubuhay. At masuwerte ako kasi isa ako dun.

Maligayang paglalakbay JP. Sila naman ang paiyakin mo sa kakatawa.