Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Stop thinking... just feel...

Watched Ocean's Twelve with "parekoy" yesterday afternoon. I had a great time with him and now I'm scared.

I like him... and I'm scared of getting hurt and I might hurt him too...

pero ika nga ni Tomas... "Stop thinking... just feel..."

He's funny, nice, sweet, a gentleman, has nice eyes... and I so luuuuurv his arms... yummy... harhar...

He's one of those people I think I could tell everything without being judged... And that's very rare to find...

He's a friend of my friends' boyfriend which is a plus point, because I know what kind of people he hangs out with and they’re cool and fun to be with.

He saw me first [making a fool out of myself... twice...], before really getting to know me, and I think that means he doesn't really care how I look...

He's cariñoso [I think], I like how he taps his fingers at my back [kahit inaasar nia ko na mataba]... I like how he smells.. I like how he makes tampo/drama [although minsan wala sa lugar.. :p].. and how he reacts when I repeat the things he says [sometimes with the same accent], hit him hard, bite his arms, or pinch his tummy..

Basta.. I'm happy.. and I missed this feeling.. and I'm missing him.. waaaah!! ayaw ko maging cheesy!!!

Sana everything goes well.. sana all the karma I received before was enough for all the mistakes I've done.. para this time around, everything would be ok.

Love is such a strong word, and I guess it's too soon to say I love him [we're just starting to know each other], but I like him, and I'm liking him more. Who knows? waaaah!! langya! ang cheesy ko!

Never felt this happy for a looooooong time. And I'm friggin' scared. I'm scared that maybe one day he gets tired of me. I'm scared that maybe by posting this, I'd jinx whatever may happen…
But I guess I'm stupid not to post this... after all, this is my journal right?

+++

Re: Ryan issue

For all the times I've been hearing "Bakit hindi na lang kayo ni Ryan?"... I keep answering "Kasi hindi kme pwede.. gulo yun!". And he answers the same thing to his friends [or something similar]. We are friends from different poles. And I know him too well to know that I couldn't trust him in a relationship and he feels the same way about me... Hindi ko kaya panindigan ang pagiging girlfriend niya [masyadong strict.. eheheheh]... Hindi siguro namen kaya maging masaya pag naging kme..

Yes, I do love him... but the love I feel for him is not quite what other people think. He's special to me because we shared so many things... and he knows me very well... that is what keeps our friendship stronger. We may have done stupid things, but we've done this knowing that whatever happens, we would still be friends... Sure, I've thought that maybe someday we could be what other people expect us to be.. but when the opportunity comes, I'll have doubts [I'm pretty sure he does too] and back-out... I guess it's never meant to be...

Most of the guys I linked up with, have some issues with him, and I can't blame them. I actually blame myself for talking so much about him. I guess he's like the best friend I never had. But I just hope that people would understand that there could be no more than that.

Ryan is Ryan… And if pwede talaga maging kme, we could have been a couple, years ago pa… High school pa lang… maraming opportunities… Pero wala talaga… Ryan is a friend… He's my kuya and I’m his baby sister… He's one of the people that I could tell everything to.. let's just leave it like that, because it’s better that way.


posted last 5:59 AM

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About me

Camwhore!
loves the moon... loves to sing... 21 22 23 24 years old.. scorpio.. loves to talk.. Graduating BUM! ... Junior Consultant.. THOMASIAN... loves her friends.. selfish.. bitchy.. tactless.. loves to watch basketball and plays volleyball, basketball, frisbee, and badminton. Drools over tracy mcgrady, usher raymonds, pharell williams, brandon boyd, vic sotto and the likes. self confessed masochist.. Loves the number one.. emo.. loves drama.. listens to a lot of genre.. from dream theater to patti austin.. easily falls in love.. heart is easily broken.. doesn't believe in courtship.. tries to believe in courtship. plays the guitar.. doesn't know how to drive.. loves the color black.. not really emo but has her own share of emo-ness... ultimate cam whore! missing the drama in my life.. kaladkarin.. simple pleasures in life: caffeine, nicotene, alcohol and very cold milo.

YM: lunacy_uno

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