I haven't posted as much as I used too. And I don't have any interesting stories to tell.
In fact, my life has been less dramatic since college, drinking sessions, getting over the ex, crying at night then drinking again, series of hearts being broken (or probably my ego) etc.. etc. Gawd I miss those days.
Ever since I've been working, I can do everything I want (as long it's legal and I have budget for it) that sometimes it gets boring.
It's either I do something illegal or I get rich and travel the world, now that would be something. But I don't want to start doing anything illegal and I'm not rich.
I've been here and there except where I really wanted to be, been doing this and that except what I really wanted to do. You know why? Because I have no idea of what I really want and where I want to go.
I have dreams, typical dreams of ladies my age.. but I have nothing specific for me. I have no passion for these goals that I'd rather sleep than work on achieving them.. and that just sucks.
I blame myself, well I have no one else to blame but me.
And even though I have blamed myself for months now, I still haven't seen any difference.
Sometimes I want to run away, thus the moving away part or working abroad. But I'm still not sure of the risks or if I have the guts to finally do what I've said a gazillion time. I have no savings to start with.
Oh yes, the savings. I don't know how to save. I have this notion to do what you wan tto do at that moment because maybe I'll be dead by tomorrow. So what's the point of saving up for a long term plan (thus not enjoying what you can enjoy now) when you're not even sure you're alive by then? But I'm slowly thinking about the future na ren (naks! tumatanda!), that's why I'm a bit confused on what to do. Or maybe it's because I just buy a lot of things (and eat too). Hey! I'm just doing things I haven't done when I was a kid! (defensive no?)
*sigh*
I've been reading my old post, and I wonder what happened to me? Haaay..
anyway, sabi ko sa niyo eh, I have no interesting stories to tell.
+++
An old post.. di ko na inedit para makita niyo how bad I am at writing:
"Hi." You said as you sat by my side. All I could do was stare. I did not expect to see you, especially today. I could tell that you just came from the gym. You stared back in a funny way. It was like you were trying to read my mind. "Gym?" I asked stupidly knowing that the answer was obvious. You just nodded your head. We sat beside each other not saying anything at all while watching the kids play in the park. You changed a lot since we were kids. You grew taller, much cuter and you even smell good when you’re sweaty.
After a few minutes of silence you looked at me and smiled. "What?" I asked while punching your arm in a playful manner. "Nothing, it’s just sometimes I wish we were kids again". And so do I. Things were less complicated back then when you were this stick-thin guy who likes to pretend that he was Batman, and no-boys/girls-allowed-clubs were the "IN" thing.
I saw your wristwatch. It’s the same wristwatch I gave you a few years ago. "Nice to see you’re still wearing that watch" I complimented. "This one? Why not? It was given by the best person in the world" you said while your smile melts my heart.
"I have to go. I still have a lot of things to do" I said as I stood up. You stood up being the gentleman that you are and said "Be there tomorrow ok? I need you to be there". I was able to smile and said "Of course, it’s your wedding; I wouldn’t miss it even if I get courtside passes to an NBA championship game". You dropped your bag and hugged me tight and whispered "Thanks. You’re the best friend any guy could ask for. I’ll name our kid after you". "Sabi mo yan ha, after 5 months dapat madadagdagan ang magaganda sa mundo" *(Just be sure that after 5 months, your kid would turn out as beautiful as me) I joked and you just smiled. "Sige na, aayusin ko pa yung dress ko para bukas" (Anyway, I still have to get my dress ready for tomorrow). As I turned around, I heard you whisper something. I whispered "I love you too". Too bad you cannot hear it together with my tears that you cannot see.
Best viewed in internet explorer 7.0 1024 x 768.. it's my first time to create a header with my pictures. Teehee. I'll still be editing this template.
About me
loves the moon... loves to sing... 212223 24 years old..
scorpio.. loves to talk.. Graduating BUM!
... Junior Consultant.. THOMASIAN... loves her
friends.. selfish.. bitchy.. tactless.. loves to watch basketball and
plays volleyball, basketball, frisbee, and badminton. Drools over tracy mcgrady,
usher raymonds, pharell williams, brandon boyd, vic sotto and the likes.
self confessed masochist.. Loves the number
one.. emo.. loves drama.. listens to a lot of genre.. from
dream theater to patti austin.. easily falls in love.. heart
is easily broken.. doesn't believe in courtship.. tries
to believe in courtship. plays the guitar.. doesn't know how
to drive.. loves the color black..
not really emo but has her own share of emo-ness... ultimate
cam whore! missing the drama in my life..
kaladkarin.. simple pleasures in life: caffeine, nicotene, alcohol and very cold milo.
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