I am on training right now and it's currently our break so I have time to blog. I think.
So bear with me.
I've been officially single for about 3-4 days now, and it's quite surprising that I'm ok. Ok maybe I'm really not ok. But then, after a few heart breaks, scars, emotional breakdown and anything that makes me wish I'm dead, I realize that there are more people who has bigger problems than the matters of the heart. I have better things to do than breaking down, punching the wall, acting drunk or whatever.
I hate him (as a boyfriend). There, I said it. I care for him since he's one of those people that made me happy. But if you knew things that you didn't know before, wouldn't you ask yourself if it's still worth it? Is it still worth not regretting the trouble you went through just for him? That still puzzles me.
I've always thought that it was my fault. That it's the risk I took entering a relationship with a 20 year old. But then, how would you feel if he makes you feel guilty with everything you do? when he does things you never knew he could? Things that he usually feel bad about when you do it?
I'm just glad that we are in the same group of friends. It would help me not hate him more and probably in time be really good friends with him.
I will be better.
And I hope he will accept the fact that it's over and will be better too.
It's sad to know that you're in that situation. I'm so sorry that I can't be there to comfort you and say all the things that will make you feel better. I don't know what happened between you guys but one thing is for sure, that is you're going to surpass this. Be strong.. I Love You abs!
I don't know if this is the proper thing to say but you know Abi, I am so proud of you. Through the years of blogging correspondence, I've watched you grow into the well-grounded and secure woman that you are now. I remember when you went through your earlier heartaches, how they could easily devastate you and make you lose perspective. But reading what you wrote now, I can see how much you've grown.
You will be fine Abi. You've managed to come out a stronger person with each heartache. Way to go, girl. :D
Best viewed in internet explorer 7.0 1024 x 768.. it's my first time to create a header with my pictures. Teehee. I'll still be editing this template.
About me
loves the moon... loves to sing... 212223 24 years old..
scorpio.. loves to talk.. Graduating BUM!
... Junior Consultant.. THOMASIAN... loves her
friends.. selfish.. bitchy.. tactless.. loves to watch basketball and
plays volleyball, basketball, frisbee, and badminton. Drools over tracy mcgrady,
usher raymonds, pharell williams, brandon boyd, vic sotto and the likes.
self confessed masochist.. Loves the number
one.. emo.. loves drama.. listens to a lot of genre.. from
dream theater to patti austin.. easily falls in love.. heart
is easily broken.. doesn't believe in courtship.. tries
to believe in courtship. plays the guitar.. doesn't know how
to drive.. loves the color black..
not really emo but has her own share of emo-ness... ultimate
cam whore! missing the drama in my life..
kaladkarin.. simple pleasures in life: caffeine, nicotene, alcohol and very cold milo.
4 Comments:
You will be fine Abi. You've managed to come out a stronger person with each heartache. Way to go, girl. :D
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