December 31st, 2011
2011 wasn’t much of a big year for me. I think this is the year I saw the worst of what I could be, emotionally. I easily get irritated and annoyed by people, I’ve been unusually anti-social, didn’t really care if I hurt my friends as long as I was straightforward, indifferent/apathetic, jaded, and I don’t dream as much as I used to. People are scared of me (or so they say), and I don’t know why.
Also, I could only think less than 5 highlights for the year.
- Casiguran trip
- Loan Payment
- My mom coming home <3
- Festus(+) and BB
I felt tired. I felt sick. I felt stuck. I felt that my positive outlook wasn’t enough this year. I felt bad having bad thoughts about other people. Sometimes I just felt really old and nowhere to go.
Actually, I just felt really ugly (physically and emotionally) this year. But that deserves another post (if I don’t get over it).
I don’t want those feelings anymore.
I want to feel better about myself. I want to enjoy life again, but not the way I enjoyed it in my ~early twenties~. I want to travel more, to explore places I haven’t been to, to watch more movies, to read more books, to have more me-time.
Also I would like to learn how to swim.
2012 will be about self improvement. Less negativity and more positive outlook. I should be more open to opportunities and be able to leave my comfort zone.
Ika nga ni Ramon Bautista, “Operation: Maging in the zone sa labas ng comfort zone 2012″ .
So let’s start 2012 right. I apologize to the people I’ve hurt, and thank those who stuck by me even if I was being a pain in the ass. You have no idea how much it means to me. You guys made 2011 a whole lot better and tolerable.
To my brothers, mom, and dad, thank you for everything. For making me feel like a kid anytime I want to. I needed those moments of vulnerability.
Thank you to everyone who is reading this. All three of you.
I don’t want to have anymore resolutions since I fail to stick to them anyway. Except that I resolve to smile genuinely more.
So everyone, don’t expect a new me, just an upgraded one. LOL. Happy new year and I wish you the best that 2012 can offer you. Also, more kilig moments We all deserve to it.