bad trip
You see, the other night.. I received a text message from JC asking if I could call him up.. and so I did. But we did not talk that much because "may pasaway daw". So we did put the phone down..
and I just learned a while ago that it was his girlfriend who texted me..
and the reason?
kasi nde raw nia magising si JC dahil uuwi na sya.. kaya nag text sya para magising.. labo dba? tas para nde raw sya sunan at kausapin n lng ako..
argh! then why text me? dba? nakakapang init ng ulo.. pinaka ayaw ko pa naman ung pinagmumukha akong tanga at pinag tritripan ako.. and for her expense pa!
graaaabe!!!
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on a good note, happy ako.. ewan ko.. basta happy ako..thanks parekoy..
Sana'y masabi sa awit kong ito
ang lahat ng ninanais nitong puso ko
Sana saan man patungo sa buhay
may pag-ibig, may pag-asa, may saya at saysay
Sana sa bawat sandali'y matikman
pasarap ng pagsasama at simpleng ligaya
Tara na, Sakyan lang, Malay mo
Andyan lang, andyan lang
Ang hinahanap mo...
I've been surprisingly okay last week. And I find it funny. I don't know, but I'm not used to feeling this way. But I like it :).
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Ryan taught me a valuable lesson last time we spoke. Never joke around a drunk person who wants to talk seriously.
Why is it the only guy who could treat me the way I want to be treated is someone who has somebody else? He's always there.. he treats me well.. he cares for me [or at least he says he does].. we somehow feel the same way.. the catch? he has someone else who's also waiting for him.
Why is it that the only person I could run to is not the person I used to know? It's either he changed or we just drifted apart..
The Best friend Ish? I've heard a lot of stories of best friends falling for each other. And I've been involve in one too... What's sad is it's a one-way feeling.
We're best of friends… well, we still are... more than friends? Yup... but not as what other people think. Good friends, just friends. I would never trade him for anyone else. He knows me like I know him. Soul mates? Probably... but we're just friends. Never mind what other people say, what they think... as long as we have each other, everything would be soooooo fine... I shared a lot of "first" with him. I was with him when I had my first crush (our kindergarten teacher), when I had my first period (we were at a his house playing Nintendo when that embarrassing incident happened), my first achievement in school (he was there to support me) and even my first kiss... Yup, he was the first guy I kissed. Funny though, because we never talked about that incident. Too awkward I guess.
They said that we look great together. He’s quite older than me... 2 years, 4 months and 5 days. Of course we have misunderstandings. And those misunderstandings actually made us closer. He's sweet; brings me flowers and the likes when we have those petty fights. A big brother to me. He does small favors and treats me as his little sister. He's intelligent, religious, courteous, talented and hardworking. No wonder a lot of girls go gaga over him. But never did he have a girlfriend. I wonder why. No, he's not gay... I should know... because he talks to me about his dreams, and that includes having his own family. I dreamt of being his first girlfriend, but that's way far from reality. Sad, but true.
What made me fall for him? The way he stares at me and smiles, the way he looks when he serves during mass and me, wishful thinking, that one day both of us would be there, the way he sings while playing the guitar, the way he hold me while crossing the street... and of course the magical kiss. Who could forget that kiss? I know it was too good to be true... Even though it wasn't intentional, I feel like I was with an angel that moment. I can't stop falling for him. He never knew how I felt, and I don't plan on telling him anymore.
When did I face reality? The day he told me that his dreams have changed. The day he told me something that he never told anyone... I am his best friend right? The day he told me that he wants to serve the Lord. He wants to become a priest and it took him a lot of thinking. Of course, what could I say? I just told him that I'll support him and be here anytime he needs a friend. Did I cry? Funny, because I did not. I prayed. I thanked the Lord for making such a wonderful person, I thanked him for giving me a chance to be with such a person, and I told Him that my best friend would be a good disciple.
Today, as I stare at him I realized that my dreams came true. I am here at the altar with him, and I know he is happy, and so am I, kneeling here beside my future husband, my best friend's brother.
A gust in the wind Reminds me of the things I tried to hide dearly The memories long forgotten Finds its way back to me Tried to run away But it keeps coming closer Slowly… Closer than I expected
So ok, it's 7:30 a.m. and I have an exam later at 1 p.m. and I really haven't reviewed yet. *lol*
But I guess it's ok since I was smiling again last night. :)
You see, Tin invited me to join her and her friends at mapua. So we left UST and went to intramuros to meet her friends. And like I said in the previous post (RE: Tin's bday party), they were all nice and fun to be with. Eheheheh..
So we drank some booze but I couldn't stay long because I'm the only one who lives up north and all of them down south (Las Pinas). But it was ok.. at least I met some new people.. ehehehe.. Hats off to Kat, Raymond, Basti, Kinot, Manong Kirby and of course to Tin and Resty.. ehehheheh..
And like I told Tin (which I don't know if she did receive my text), ever since her birthday party, I'm starting to feel a little bit better. Yayness!
yayness! my first time to create my own template.. eheheh.. our multimedia classes finally paid off.. :)
anyway, you could comment on how the template looks.. I mean, I know I'm not artistic or creative that's why I'm asking for suggestion, etc.. ehehehhe
Anyway, I decided on this color because I'm tired of black.. hahahah.. I've been using the same background on my LJ since last year and yup, it is black.
I am also T.B.F.K.A.L. (the blogger formerly known as lunacy). I'll be using my real name (abi), I guess because there's no more animosity. Heck, I've been blogging for two years already and most bloggers I know already know me by name.. eheheheh..
I'm happy right now.. and kinda troubled.. eheheh.. but I don't want to think bad thoughts so I decided just to stay happy. :)
I have no voice.. yup. Paos na paos ako. ehehehe..
Tin's party was a-ok! Her friends were great! hahahaha!
Sayang, gusto ko pa naman talaga kumanta pero my voice was so coarse. And I was sick.. eheheheh
One of the highlights was when Tin sang "Mata" by mojofly.. Proved that the girl has talent! Bagay nga talaga sila ni Resty.
What more can I ask when I'm surrounded by talented people!? Vice, Tin, Kat, Nigel, Resty, Raymond, Kirby, and a guy named JC [Raymond's brother and not JC as in Joseph].. hahaha.. grabeh!! Enjoy ako!!
Vice and Nigel.. some of the talented guys from our block :)
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Ryan also was there.. :) I love that guy! hahahah.. actually, I was really happy to see him because I missed him a lot. We haven't seen each other for months! And since nagtampo ako sa kanya last december (we have this sort of tradition that we would meet every december), he surely paid it off last night.
One person asked if Ryan was my boyfriend.. heller?! we had our chance.. we passed on it. And how can you have a serious relationship with a guy when your friendship got stronger because of the "kalokohan"? And Ryan's one of those guy
Thanks Yan! **** ka talaga! ehehehe.. mwah!
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I was kinda crazy last night.. and Ryan can atest to that [kaya nga sinasalo ung ibang tagay ko]. Pero it was not because of alcohol.. but because I really needed to let loose.
Ehehehe.. I had my time as "tanggera" and when I learned that JC was the name of .. well.. JC.. pinuno ko yung baso..ehehhe.. talk about being bitter.. *lol*.. pero ok lang ren.. He was nice and so was Tin's other friends..
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Momentarily crush? I have some of those.. Yung tipong, "ui.. he's cute.. he's nice.. he's blah blah blah".. then the next day, wala na.. can't even remember the kilig feeling anymore.. hahahaha.. kainis..
Gawd, my eyes are still puffed from last night's drama. Well, that's an exaggeration.. ehehhe..
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It was our recollection a while ago... and the priest was one of the best speakers I heard...
He talk about how we should live our life...
1) Live life to its fullest
2) Love deeply
3) Let go cheerfully..
and I got almost all the stares when he said #3..
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Love deeply.. according to him there are three types of Love..
1) sobra 2) sapat 3) sakit
In 21 years, I experienced all three of them and although I promised myself before that I'll never ever love someone and get hurt deeply, I still found myself in the situation recently...
sakit, I think he meant giving up something important for the one you love without regretting anything..
I guess the only regret is, I can't give him the love that I still want to give to him..
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Let go cheerfully.. I never really got that part.. eheheheheh
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Can't wait this saturday.. It's tintin's birthday/jammin party! and yes, I get to sing with a band! a dream come true! hahahah... I guess I need to drink a glass or two of alcohol first.. jowk!
then, baka tambay ako kela yanyan after.. kasi I need to be home before 7:30 the next day.. eheheheh.. saya no?
my first drama filled post sa pansitan... eheheh.. ayos!
Dear you,
How are you? I'm glad that you found someone that you're ready to committ too.. scrap that. The first time you told me that you have a girlfriend, I pretended to be ok with that. But I know you could see through me. I was not ok.
You said that you don't want to committ and you were not ready for a relationship that's why we broke up. You keep saying those things when I was trying to ask for another chance. You still keep saying those things when I just wanted a simple
answer. But I guess I got the answer to the question we keep arguing about. It finally got to me.. that your feelings were gone. Yeah.. for a guy who's not ready for a relationship, it's surprising to hear that you have a new boo. Now I still keep
wondering what really went wrong.
There were days that I would be ok. But there were days where the thoughts of us keeps popping in my head and I can't seem to get rid of those thoughts. Those were the days that I wished that I have selective amnesia.
I wanted to tell you so many things.. I wanted to talk to you about everything.. just like before. I wanted to tell you what new songs I heard, what new songs I have downloaded, who are the people I talked too, what I ate during lunch, who won and who scored the most in NBA, what new songs I learned to play with the guitar, what happened at school, how many times I tripped, how much I miss you... like I said.. I wanted to talk to you about everything.
I wonder what you call her. I wonder if you tell her the same things you told me. I wonder if you talk about me the way we talk about you ex's. I wonder if you stroke her hair when she sleeps. I wonder how you hug her when she's cold. I wonder if you play with her younger cousins. I wonder if you already introduced her to your parents. I wonder how late you stay at night just to talk to her. I wonder if you wait for her to come home before you go to sleep. I wonder if you play cards together. I wonder if you share a plate with her. I wonder if you sing to her. I wonder if she teaches you guitar. I wonder if you love her more than you love me. I wonder if she loves you as much as I do. I wonder so many things.
You said you'd always be there for me and you'd take care of me. You said that you would be my friend. But where were you when I needed comfort? But I guess, I really can't blame you. Being there for me all the time I needed someone would be to good to be true. I guess it's really hard to let someone who you could tell everything to out of my system.
I have nothing against her. She has no fault here. But yeah, pain aside, I'm glad you found someone you're happy with. Just treat her nice because every girl deserved to be treated like a princess.
-sappy pathetic girl
Life's a bitch, then you die
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School's a mess. I might not be able to graduate this march because of our thesis. haaay..
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I miss the College of Science.. :(.. the Faculty of Engineering is ok.. but being in the main building is different.. haaaaay..
War of hearts and minds
Who will pay the price?
Does anybody care?
It's not make believe
You've seen it on your TV screen
I'm glad you're not here
Chorus:
Take my wife please
If you think it's funny
Cut my heart out for a souvenir
Take my life please
If you think it's worth it
I'm glad you're not here
I'm glad you're not here
War of hearts and minds
Seven days later,
I still can't find
Truth and peace
How will i find my way
They say love, love without fear
Is said to be the key
But just look around
No answer to be found
(Get me out here)
(Repeat Chorus)
(Repeat Chorus)
Coda:
I'm glad you're not here
yayness for pansitan!.. I'm officially a sahog (toppings?).. kiddin.. eheheh.. thanks to ate sienna for choosing me..
anyway, i'm still trying to fix my template so bear with me.. after leaving blogspot more than a year ago [before going to livejournal], i forgot some html basics.. eheheheh..
anyway, after fixing this template, I plan to visit my fellow pansiters.. *lol*..
Best viewed in internet explorer 7.0 1024 x 768.. it's my first time to create a header with my pictures. Teehee. I'll still be editing this template.
About me
loves the moon... loves to sing... 212223 24 years old..
scorpio.. loves to talk.. Graduating BUM!
... Junior Consultant.. THOMASIAN... loves her
friends.. selfish.. bitchy.. tactless.. loves to watch basketball and
plays volleyball, basketball, frisbee, and badminton. Drools over tracy mcgrady,
usher raymonds, pharell williams, brandon boyd, vic sotto and the likes.
self confessed masochist.. Loves the number
one.. emo.. loves drama.. listens to a lot of genre.. from
dream theater to patti austin.. easily falls in love.. heart
is easily broken.. doesn't believe in courtship.. tries
to believe in courtship. plays the guitar.. doesn't know how
to drive.. loves the color black..
not really emo but has her own share of emo-ness... ultimate
cam whore! missing the drama in my life..
kaladkarin.. simple pleasures in life: caffeine, nicotene, alcohol and very cold milo.
