Promises are meant to be broken. I've already learned that 2 years ago. So why am I affected right now?
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Graduation na bukas. I hope our digicam won't mess up. yay! I bought a dress today with lee anne. Yes, a dress.. and a dress that my friends would never thought they'd see me wearing. bwahahahah! Naisip ko lang na bilhin since it's our last day as students. Graaaabeee!! ang sakit ng paa ko from all that shopping. It was a good buy. Sale e. Tag price niya, 1700++. But we bought it for 500 bucks! sa XY Shop. coolness! eheheh.. As soon as I reached home, I tried the dress on and then slept (of course not wearing the dress) sa sobrang pagod. *lol*
Sana everything goes well tomorrow.
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I'm hooked. I love watching full house. I find justine endearing. I hate lorraine. I pity luigi (sometimes). I luuurv jessie's character.
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One line from a phone conversation stuck in my head till now...
OMG! is it really beans who posted in my tagboard? I SERIOUSLY miss his posts.. I just checked his blog out and he deleted some of his posts. :c I wonder why.. He has one of the best blogs I've read.
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I think this is a current the-story-of-my-life-ic song for a-b-i
Hey Mom Why didn't you tell me Why didn't you teach me a thing or two You just let me go Out into the World You never thought to share what you knew
So I walked under a bus I got hit by a train Keep falling in love Which is kinda the same I've sunk out at sea Crashed my car, gone insane And it felt so good I want to do it again
Hey Mom Why didn't you warn me Coz about boys is something i should have known Their like chocolate cake Like cigarettes I know they're bad for me But I just can't leave 'em alone
Chorus
I wanna do it again Oh, felt so good
Hey Mom Since we're talking What was it like when you where young Has the world changed Or is it still the same A man can kill and still be the sweetest fun
Choruses Out
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SInce I've been using "psych0sis" for my blogs.. I tried to see if it was available for LJ.. and hence..the user info?
I was contemplating if I should post this since it could stir up some issues that are not really issues. But then, I need to rant so I guess posting this would really help it get off my chest.
A few days ago, I dreamt of JC or someone who looks like him. Actually, I didn't know he looks like JC until one of my classmates (who was also in my dream) told me. He's a better looking JC actually. He's JC minus the (kinda) long hair and acne. He was wearing JC's clothes (the white polo shirt and his pants). I don't know what he's doing in my dream but we were real close. I think I was trying to help him with something.
It bothered me you see. Because these past few days, I was contemplating if I should see him. Just to know what I would feel if ever I get to see him again. We were supposed to meet each other a few weeks ago, but I cancelled it. Because I was kinda lazy and I was afraid that it would be another issue between me and Parekoy (and my friends don't want me to see him). But another factor was I'm scared of how I would feel. The last time I met him, I was still in love with him. That was about 4 months ago. I wonder how I would feel if ever I meet him again, now that we have our separate lives (naks!).
There were times when I miss him or miss the thought of having someone around. I also remembered our happy moments together. Because he was always there when I needed to cry (because of my mom, school, and even if it was about him). And I was such a crybaby back then (until now actually). It seems like he was the only one who never gets tired of me (well, that was before). I don't have anyone like that at the moment. Sure, parekoy is around, but JC was different because I knew him more, and he knows a year and a half worth of my stories back then.
I guess Parekoy was right, we need to know each other more. Maybe I'm limiting myself too much, because I don't open myself as much as I used too. I'm not sure how Parekoy would handle my drama. *lol* I'm not even sure if he could handle it. And I'm afraid Parekoy might get tired of me. Ehehehe..
This post was edited for 3 days. Maybe that explains why it doesn't make sense.
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Being the youngest has it pros and cons. And right now I feel the cons and I hate it.
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I miss talking to parekoy in the middle of the night where he sounds sooooo sleepy minus the drama. Ehehhehe..
Am I a bad relative? My mom wants me to celebrate my grad with her side of the family, and I'm not excited at all. I mean, why celebrate it with people who has no idea on the hardships I went through all through out college? I want to celebrate it with the people who kept me sane all 4 years. My younger cousins, my classmates, my friends, JC (yes.. the ex), granma and grampa, and of course, Parekoy. They were there when I needed comfort, motivation and encouragement, they balanced my college life, and they made my life more interesting. Those are the people I want to be there when I celebrate my graduation. I mean my aunt lives in Batangas, and my Lolo lives in Pangasinan, how would they know what I've been through to graduate? Like I told my mom, I'm not mad at them at all... it's actually ok, I just don't want it to be a big deal.
Ok, that didn't make sense. But I mean it all. And I feel guilty because it's like I'm not giving importance to family.
I'm currently at baranggay rizal, natividad, pangasinan. One of the few places I consider home. And a certain feeling of nostalgia is eating me whole. I want to stay here. I love the fresh air, the food, the simplicity, etc. But I miss my friends back in manila. How I wish they're here with me. This is a very suitable place for bonding sessions. I could just imagine us outside.. talking.. staring at the sky. Nigel or Vice would play the guitar, Tin or Kokoi would be passing the drinks around, and we would all laugh and sing ang be happy. wishful thinking eh?
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Sometimes I wish I never admitted my feelings. Maybe it would be better if he never knew what I feel. Now I wonder, did anything change? I just hope he would tell me. At least I would know where to stand. Gah! Maybe I believed him too much. Maybe I should have allowed myself to return to the old me before I allowed anyone to get close to me.. emotionally. But it's too late. He's already close to me. Actually, it's better this way. Because I get to FEEL (may it be joy or pains). I am, after all, still human. *smiles* And I love being able to feel and think.
oh the drama.
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Pacquiao lost. But he's still a winner to a lot of Filipinos. He put up a good fight and he deserved to be recognized all over the world.
<3 to all Pinoys!
note: I love the fight before pacquiao vs. morales. I think it was Arce vs. Hussein. Arce was great! you could see his perserverance despite the cut in his nose. And also the cute cowboy hat.. ehhehe.. that's all..
Miss ko na si parekoy.. at naiinis ako.. kasi namimiss ko sya.. It's like craving for a cheesecake pero nde ka makabili.. ganung inis.. d ko man lang sya nakita before ako umalis. More than a week na since we last met. sucks diba? And hindi ko pa sya nakakausap.. waah! Naiinis talaga ako.. sana cheesecake na lang ung namimiss ko. Sana man lang I got to spend time with him before I leave tomorrow. Sana talaga.. Pero hindi e.. haaay.. howell.. hafta get use to it.. actually, I'm supposed to be used to it na.
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Takot ako.. takot ako maattach sa mga tao.. kasi takot akong mawawala ren sila.
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Be back in a week (hopefully I'll be back earlier..)
March 31.. graduation.. already reserved my toga.. May mass sa friday.. feeling ko mas-importante yun.. sana kumpleto kme.. mga gagraduate and mga nde.. gusto ko makasama ang cs2k5 for one last time.. as students..
One thing that would be hard for me is say goodbye to people who touched my life. I know, it's not really goodbye.. but it would take a long time for us to get together again. Some of us would leave the country.. some of us would be busy working. Ayos sana if we all live near each other.. pero kalat kme.. meron sa Q.C, Cainta, Kalookan, Makati, Manila, and Las Piñas. Ewan ko ba, love ko talaga ang block namen.. ibang klase kasi ang bonding.
We've help each other a lot.. may it be in academics or personal life. Lam nio ung tipong we have our differences, pero tanggap namen ang isa't isa? We have our misunderstandings, pero in the end we all laugh together and patch things up.
I'll miss the inuman sessions (na inaabot ng alas-siyete ng umaga), the jammin session.. tambay sa buenavides park, field, grandstand, tulyan (corner sa field), payong (sa loob ng main building), pav, hard rock (tapat ng eng building), cat walk, Colayco, Tinoco, Botanical Garden..
I'll miss eating in Mike's BRB, Almer's, Flavorites, Cely's, Momo's, Asturias (footlong and fried siomai's the best!), BK, Jabi, McDo, *Coop, Lopez, *Springfields, *GrillHouse at lalo na sa Uncle Pipoys..
I'll miss everything about UST (except for the admin.. and some students.. blech)
......to be completed
*closed down +++
Medyo naninibago ako kay parekoy.. and paranoia's hitting me hard. Now i remember one of our conversation when he admitted he's the type of person na mabilis magsawa o kaya panghinaan ng loob. Could it be happening? I hope not. Ewan ko ba.. napaparanoid na naman ako.. eheheh.. kelangan ko ng time for meditation..
"stop thinking... just feel..."
I really need to keep that in mind.. eheheh
as far as the previous post.. ok na kme.. I guess drama mode lang yun.. howell... kung yun ung gusto nia.. wala naman ako magagawa e.. eheheh.. go with the flow na lang.. carry naman e.. ehehehe.. so be it.. gusto nia ng ganito lang.. e di ganito na lang muna.. eheheh.. madali lang akong kausap.. *lol*..
haaay.. sana hindi ako nagpa-pa-uto.. eheheheh..
buti na lang there are a lot of things to keep me busy..
pero seriously.. namimiss ko sya.. at nagiging "hulk" ako pag nakakamiss ako.. eheheheh..
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Am I willing to risk a friendship I tried so hard to keep?
new template again :) and i like it.. girly na hindi.. eheheheh..
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Hindi ko alam kung dapat akong mahiya sa ginawa ko, o mainis sa sinabi niya. Anlabo kasi eh.. Hindi pa raw kasi niya na eenjoy ang single life niya.. Which made me think, how would he enjoy his single life with me around? I don't want to be the one filling up the spaces somebody left behind.. I don't to wait in vain (naks!) or maybe I'm over reacting.. sana nga OA lang ako.. *hindi ko kelangan ng ka-tropa.. marami na akong friends.. para happy diba? haaay.. sana maging ok na lahat.. sana lang talaga.. I deserve to be loved naman diba? and I deserve to graduate from pseudo-relationships na right? Is that too much to ask?
here I go again..
*hoy darren! naks nasabi ko ren! ehehe.. di nga lang sa kanya..
Part I: Uncle Pipoys Kalahating order ng lechon paksiw Kalahating order ng kalabasa at sitaw Rice Tropicana (current adiction)
While waiting for Darren and an FX
Part II: Eng Canteen at Goldilocks Zagu Sago't gulaman
Since I've been craving for a cheesecake last night and Darren was nice enough to buy me one
Part III: Coffee Experience 1 slice of Oreo Cheesecake
Since Darren haven't eaten lunch yet.. take note, I told him to buy me only the potato balls
Part IV: Tokyo Tokyo 1 order of Potato balls 2 pieces Kani Sushi (and ung crab meat lng nung dalawa) 1 sumo Iced Tea 2-3 subo ng (sumo meal) Pork Tonkatsu with Rice
Dennis texted me.. food trip raw kela Nigel and they need help with their thesis.. Darren and I decided to go all the way to Makati (from SM North) just because we have nothing better to do
Part V: Nigel's place Half Sandwich 1/4 halo-halo
Celebration time since we we're able to help them with their thesis..
Part VI: Fort Starbucks Ham and Cheese Croissant Fries Jolly Choco Shake
...haaaaay... ALL IN ONE DAY! tamang food trip ba? kung baga sa neopets I'm bloated.. sabi nga ni Darren, (when he offered me his burger), first time ko raw tumanggi sa pagkain.. eheheheh..
... sucks.. I swear, I did not know where my answers came from. I realized that my answers were wrong on the way home..
but it's ok. :D I'm not really rushing things right now.
I'm currently surfing jobstreet.comfor possible oppurtunities and I can see that I'm not yet really qualified.
I plan to study more programming languages this summer (yeah right). Or probably I just want to rest.
*yawn*
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nde ako naghahanap ng tropa, marami na akong kaibigan. nyahahahah!!
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I'm bored.. I want to go out.. I want to enjoy summer.. kaya lang bawal na summer fling.. eheheh.. good girl na e.. gusto ko pumunta sa beach.. 6 na taon na ata akong nde nakakapunta sa beach.
gusto ko mag beach!!! gusto ko ng cheesecake!! gusto ko ng frappe!! gusto ko mag swimming!!
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I'll probably visit Ryan this summer.. nababaliw na yung tao sa bahay nila.. laging walang kausap e. Bigla-bigla na lang sinisipa ung upuan.. ehehehhe.. baliw amp! He should cook a wicked lunch for me. Ang bait ko e, bibisitahin ko pa sya. :p.. ewan ko kung matutuloy.. bahala na.. pag sinipag na ko.. cguro pag bigay ko na ng puppy sa kanya..
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parekoy was here yesterday.. what's with guys and computer games? I've been competing with NBA 2004/2005 last year and now I have to compete with NFS2U? eheheh.. pero carry lang.. sanay na naman ako e.. at least I'll have time to sleep. hahahahha..
Haay nako.. malapit na magtapos ang pagiging estudyante ko.. unting tiyaga na lang.. Napapaisip tuloy ako.. gusto ko ba talaga grumadweyt at iwan ang buhay estudyante? Ilang taon ko ng inasam ang matapos ang mga pahirap ng mga mga guro ko. Ilang taon ko ren inasam na magkaron ng trabaho at kumita ng sariling pera. Pero kelan lang ng sinabi ng isa sa aking mga professor (na future co-league) na tinamaan ako ng malupit:
"Masarap mabuhay sa allowance"
Haaaay.. unti na lang at mararanasan ko na ang "real world". Unti na lang at ka-level ko na ang mga utol ko na may kanya-kanyang trabaho. Unti na lang at ako na ang nagbibigay ng regalo sa ninong, ninang, at inaanak ko.
Ngayon lang ako napapaisip kung ano talaga gusto ko mangyari sa buhay ko. Hanggang ngayon, di ko pa ren mapagtanto kung san man tutungo ang aking buhay. Eto lang ang ilan sa mga "long-term goals ko"
Age 23-24: Magkaron ng sariling place. Kahit renta lang. Matuto mag drive, at magkaron ng sariling sasakyan. Maging masaya
Age 25-26: Makapag-ipon at bumiyahe (kahit sa Pilipinas lang) Maging masaya.
Age 27-28: Magkaron ng asawa at anak. (Pero syempre, kelangan ko muna ng boypren. eheheheh) Maging masaya
Age 30-35: Mabilhan ng sariling bahay ang mga magulang ko (at dahil hiwalay sila, dalawang bahay yan) Maging masaya
Medyo malabo pa. At hindi ko alam kung pano ko aabutin ang mga yan. Haaay. At alam ko sa panahong ngayon, upang maging masaya, dapat tanggap mo kung anong meron ka at malakas ang pananalig mo sa Diyos (and I thank God for everything I have right now).
Kung tatanungin ako "How do you see yourself 10 years from now?"
Best viewed in internet explorer 7.0 1024 x 768.. it's my first time to create a header with my pictures. Teehee. I'll still be editing this template.
About me
loves the moon... loves to sing... 212223 24 years old..
scorpio.. loves to talk.. Graduating BUM!
... Junior Consultant.. THOMASIAN... loves her
friends.. selfish.. bitchy.. tactless.. loves to watch basketball and
plays volleyball, basketball, frisbee, and badminton. Drools over tracy mcgrady,
usher raymonds, pharell williams, brandon boyd, vic sotto and the likes.
self confessed masochist.. Loves the number
one.. emo.. loves drama.. listens to a lot of genre.. from
dream theater to patti austin.. easily falls in love.. heart
is easily broken.. doesn't believe in courtship.. tries
to believe in courtship. plays the guitar.. doesn't know how
to drive.. loves the color black..
not really emo but has her own share of emo-ness... ultimate
cam whore! missing the drama in my life..
kaladkarin.. simple pleasures in life: caffeine, nicotene, alcohol and very cold milo.
